My letter to Jeff. My realization of true LOVE!!!!!

I hope this is ok. Re-posting...... kind of like re-gifting?!!
That is what this blog site is all about for me.... a collection of the stories about my & my families JOURNEY to the Kingdom. :)
This is the letter I sent to Jeff on June 24, 2008. It pretty much says it all...... a realization about our Heavenly Father that I had not had before. Until next blog...... be blessed dear hearts!!! Cheryl


Hello Jeff!! How are you? Hope all is going well for you. I am so excited about our family baptism's on the 5th. I know you wish you were here, as well as we do. But, Heavenly Father needs you elsewhere at this time. There is a family out there that needs you. Though you will not be with us in body, I know you will be with us in spirit.
I want to take this opportunity to tell you that all of this has been a long long process. This has been a long time coming. But, only Heavenly Father's timing is perfect. He knew I wasn't ready before now & that I would not have been unreceptive. I had to have years of learning, and I learn with my eyes more than books.
I am so in love with Heavenly Father. I so want to live with him forever. I want all of us to be together forever!!!! Your family & my family & the families of all our friends & extended family members.
I wonder if we were all friends before we came through the veil? If we knew each other? Sometimes I think so. I mean, sometimes you meet someone and there is such a connection. Like....I feel like I have known these people or this person all of my life. And maybe we truly have known each other. Maybe we were great friends in heaven & maybe we said to each other, before going through the veil......"See you on the other side!!!"
I am so glad to have met you all. You have truly truly blessed my life and the lives of my family. And who knows how many other people we will be able to touch because of you & your family?
It's like a big tree with sprawling branches & all those branches (the people you have touched directly) have lots & lots of leaves (all the peoples lives you have touched unknowingly because of the one specific person, or branch, you showed the light to.
Have I told you how much I absolutely adore the Johnson children?!!!! How much I adore the Johnson family?!!!!
OK......Now I have to tell you about the coolest coolest thing that happened to me on Sun. night 6/22. How Heavenly Father has been working in my life....ok, well, just one of the may ways he's been dealing with me. So......Ok....Sun. night we went to your parents w/ the elder's & sister Muriel & her son & her husband ( he joined us a little later), anyway, we had root beer floats & we watched a movie called the testaments.
WOW...it was awesome!!! I was the most cool thing that I have ever ever seen.
So, first I want to give you some background so you know what I am talking about...and you will be able to follow me...cuz sometimes I get a little excited.
So, I have never had a father figure. I have had step-dad's. But never a father of my very own. My mom has been married 7 times. And in between marriages she had a few boyfriends. I don't say this to have you think ill of my mother, just so you have some background about me. So, anyway....one of these step-dads & some of her boyfriends & some family members & some family friends 'abused' my sister's & myself. So, I really didn't know how a father was supposed to be.
The man my mother is married to now is a true gentleman. He would NEVER 'hurt' my sisters or our children. I very much love Mr. Arlis. I respect him lots. He says he loves me & he is proud of me & that he thinks of me like a daughter, but when it comes down to it.....I am just his STEP child. That is all.....just his step!!!
It is obvious in lots of different ways. The treatment of his children & the treatment of my mother's children. Like, they have gotten Christmas gifts & we didn't. That is just the way it is. It is not the gifts that I want, it is just the acknowledgement that I am an equal. No just a step. But, reality proves that I am not.
I try to please Mr. Arlis, but I have sometimes failed, therefore I am small in his eyes. So, really, all I know about a 'father' is the way I have been treated.
Ok.....so here's what happened....in the movie it showed how Jesus came to the Aztec peoples. Anyway....we, in Christian churches, always heard about Jerusalem, Jordan, Egypt, Israel.....over there places. How Jesus did this & he did that.....but OVER THERE. Then he says that we are all his children. But, I kinda feel left out. Like he loves them more than us. Like he visits them and forgets about us. Like a step-child. I felt like it was just a bunch of lip service, but when it came down to it....I was just another step-child.
So, when they showed how Jesus came to the Aztec people, the peoples of the Americas, I was so moved. I was so touched. I cried & cried. I had to leave the room. I couldnt speak. It touched my heart so deeply. I truly felt that God/Jesus loved me.....more than just a step. He came here for ME. To see ME!!!!!! It was truly the most heart purifying moment. I am IMPORTANT to Heavenly Father. See, I have really never felt that before. Not really. Not anything like this.
Then we come home & I check my emails. Your mother sent me an email about Glen Beck's testimony and how he came to LDS. He said so many of the things that I have said....'I want to be like that'......'peace'.....'family'......'such a warm feeling inside'......Wow, his testimony was so moving.
Then I clicked on a cartoon banned by the Mormon church. It was garbage. Saying smack about Mormonism. I clicked that one off in less than about 30 seconds.
Then I clicked on a video of President Monson. Wow, it was awesome. He was talking about the Hill of Calmarah (sp?). And some other stuff. At the end he was talking of Heavenly Father's love for us. He was so genuine. I felt so stirred. So drawn.
So, after these three things that happened.....my heart was different. I can honestly say that in my heart of hearts that......
" I know that Joseph Smith is the prophet, chosen of Heavenly Father, to restore his church. And I know that Joseph Smith passed that authority down, by the laying on of hands & that President Monson is our prophet today. Here to guide us & lead us to our Heavenly Father, that we may live with him & with our families FOREVER!!!!!"

Jeff....you have been so important in this process. I have watched you & Jamie & Jordan for years. Many many years. You & your family NEVER taught me anything verbally about the Mormon faith, but I watched you live it before my very eyes. You & your family are a great & wonderful inspiration to me. I love you very very much. You are like my kids. NOT step kids, but my kids. Really though, you are my brother (?)....my Elder Johnson...my Mr. Johnson.
I love you for living a pure life in front of me. For not preaching at me, but letting me see the Gospel in your life & the lives of your family.l truly truly appreciate all that you have done for me & my family. I have prayed for many years that something wonderful would happen to my family. That we would all go to church together. That David would be the spiritual leader of our family. That my husband would have a friend or friends. That my boys would find friends that were good influences & that shared our values & our morals. And that has happened. Thank you for your part in all of this. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. My family WILL go to heaven & we WILL be together forever. What a wonderful thing you have helped teach us. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
I could go on & on......but I will close for now. I am excited to see you in August!!! Can't wait. Love you much & much.....Cheryl